Dating site for cancer patients

01 Feb

Dating is exciting — but having cancer or having had cancer in the past can make the search for a relationship seem daunting. “Dating was hard and scary even before you had cancer, and all of those fears are probably still there after the cancer,” says Memorial Sloan Kettering clinical social worker Barbara Golby.You may wonder: Am I ready to put myself out there again? “Only now you’re dealing with the fears and insecurities that come up as a result of cancer.”Those worries may look like a fear of rejection because of your history with the disease, body image hang-ups, and a more general struggle to regain your equilibrium after a frightening and draining experience.Though many cancer patients have the same questions and concerns, no two relationships are the same.A younger person with goals of marriage and children — and potential mates who may have had little experience with serious illness — probably has different dating concerns than an older person, whose potential partners might very well be dealing with their own health issues.A cancer diagnosis can shake people’s self-confidence, making them feel betrayed by their body or as if they don’t have as much control over their future as they once did, Ms. This loss of confidence can make it harder to pursue a relationship.Start to rebuild your confidence by reminding yourself what you have to offer a potential partner and the traits you value most about yourself.Each person also has his or her own individual comfort level when discussing the disease.Some may find it important to share their experience; others would just as soon never bring up cancer again. Golby offers the following advice to help cancer patients and survivors answer some of the questions they may have about dating.

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He asked this in a teasing way, but when I read it, my heart sank.

First I visited forums where cancer patients and their significant others discussed the challenges of dating after cancer.

As it turns out, men and women both struggle with identifying the best time to tell a new love interest about their cancer history.

Whenever someone brought up the topic of dating after cancer in my young adult support group, I admit that I only half listened. “I’m not shy about sharing my cancer experience.” Here I am now, older, wiser and a little bit lost.

Since my group doesn’t meet for several more weeks, I delved into the world of on-line cancer support.