Dating an emotionally damaged man

04 Apr

The trials and errors of love can sure knock us around a bit and leave us feeling a little worse for wear!They say you can’t choose who you fall in love with (which I don’t agree with), and so many women often throw themselves head (and heart) first into a relationship with a man who has more issues than hashtags could cover!I didn’t want to say “I love you” because that was reserved for when I met The One. guy isn’t wrong, and it’s not necessarily his fault.If he’s a normal male, he was conditioned into this through his upbringing and doesn’t even know it’s going on with him.They may have suffered through a troubled childhood experience that has wounded them or they now have higher priorities such as their career or taking care of a sick parent.Perhaps, they are recently divorced or widowed, and legitimately not ready to get involved in an intimate relationship. I’d say I was into them and I was pretty convincing, but a day later, I’d be annoyed and irritable and just want to be alone or with guy friends because I thought they were “easier.” Deep down, men like this are very ambivalent about being close with a woman for a long period of time.The older a man gets, the more he hates this about himself, and he often stays stuck by staying in the relationship, but giving very little.

It’s what most normal people do who don’t know how to deal with their internal upset.If you add multiple loves over the course of multiple years, they can become broken men. A broken man is just a person who can’t trust as easily, can’t give as much and can’t open his heart as fully anymore, no matter how badly he wants to. One of the most prominent features of a broken man is the ability to take everything at a glacial pace.Going slow when it comes to relationships is always a solid choice, but when it’s been 10 months and he still refers to you as “the girl I’m dating,” it starts to become tiresome.The best thing to do is to set boundaries, emotionally as well as physically, that way you can have time to gather your thoughts, emotions and energy and focus on loving yourself as well. Sometimes men need us to be the hero, which is great up until the point where we think we can heal or fix them ourselves!Yes we can definitely aid them in making progress and we can love them unconditionally at the stages they are at, but there has to be a point where you realise that you can only help someone so much before they need to learn to help themselves.The problem is, if you are an overly generous loving woman who always gives above and beyond, you may find yourself in danger of dating a man who will unfortunately take more than his share.This isn’t about labelling people or giving up on someone but rather just being aware of the problems that can arise from dating or marrying someone who has is broken and needing to learn self -love. If you feeling a little drained, exhausted and just overwhelmed then it’s probably because you have been giving more than you receive.Then, there are those who are too afraid of taking the risk of falling in love because they have been hurt too much in their previous relationships.Ironically, most emotionally unavailable people are easy to spot, quite transparent, showing you their true colors, right from the beginning.The "booby prize" in life is trying to understand or change the behavior of an emotionally unavailable person.(Only they can change themselves.) People can be for both healthy and unhealthy reasons.